I turned twenty-nine on my last birthday (which may sound ancient to you!). Growing up, I had always thought I would be married at the magical age of twenty-three. When I look back on my naiveté, I am grateful that God protected me from marriage at twenty-three—it would have been difficult to maintain a marriage with all my emotional baggage (most of which has been cleaned out by God’s grace in the last several years), not to mention that I was with the wrong person at the time! I’m also thankful that he has brought me to a place of true contentment and companionship with him—he is the only One who can and will satisfy me all the days of my life (Psalm 23). I’m thankful for the many fulfilling ministry opportunities and life experiences I’ve had as a single woman (including four short-term missions projects while on InterVarsity staff) which would have been much more difficult or even impossible as a married woman.

Don’t get me wrong—I still think marriage would be a great thing! And there are days when I do wish I were married, and days when I feel extra lonely, perhaps (I hate to admit) even a little bitter on rare occasions. But on the whole, I have learned not to put life on hold but rather to strive to live life to the fullest as a single woman. Whether you’re eighteen or twenty-three, lack of contentment in the here-and-now is a sign that you may not be trusting God with his plan for your life at the moment.

Indian missionary Pandita Ramabai once wrote, “A life totally committed to God has nothing to fear, nothing to lose, nothing to regret.” Do you trust that God’s purpose and calling for your life is the best possible plan? Are you content with what he has for you at this point in time?

Finally, if you are struggling with past wounds and shame, what steps are you taking to bring those wounds to God with the help of trusted friends? Jesus said that he came so we may have life to the fullest (John 10:10). Are you living life to the fullest? Whether you’re shying away from relationships or actively in search of one, remember who is in control and who has the best intentions for your life. God is worthy of your trust and he will not disappoint you.